Consumerist Holy Daze
          ( fiction stranger than media, reducing prices worldwide, no experience necessary. apply within. )

 

obstacles in life contain rituals of death

When I was a wee lad, it used to be Thanksgiving when we started to see lights for sale and maybe a giant Santa on his sleigh with reindeer that you stick in the ground. Nowadays the timing of things is a bit different. Now Halloween has become the new starting point for holiday revelry. Afterall Samhain is allegedly the most powerful day to perform magic.

It's not so uncommon for a series of social rituals to begin earlier and earlier each year. I suppose the anticipation for sensationalized human interest is just too overwhelming for the press and there's too much lossless revenue that multi-conglomerates can't help, but stick their tentacles into the waterfall of pennies per diem.

And you can tell those sleazy cephalopods to blow it out their ink-sacs.

Onto Thanksgiving (which is a symbol of our own arrogant avarice) where we stuff our faces and all the while Christmas paraphernalia slowly ecretes into stores, their shelves filling with kid's toys and DVDs, and aisles slowly begin to accumulate holiday merchandise until New Years day when spending drops off for a second and then picks back up again from all the return gifts. Most people go for store credit; junkies take cash.

Returning a gift is so much more classy than re-gifting.

Present company excluded and procedural protocol notwithstanding it seems that 9/11 has become our last good-bye to the summer months before we begin our horrifically ubiquitous holiday displays of faux enthusiasm, inside jokes, and sardonic banter.

Traditionally, the colonial masonic induction (or initiation) is celebrated on Labor day, the first Monday in September (which just reminds me of hot dogs and cheap beer) then Halloween jumps in the mix and adds an entirely new dimension of juju to an already heady brew (utter bullshit, btw)

The people hate this wage-slave exchange of food we can barely do without and gifts we can't even afford, but self-sacrifice is smiled upon within the paradigm you're playing with. All of this stealing from peter to pay paul living check to check, payment to payment, bill to bill is tearing your soul apart.

And on top of all that, still you give to their untaxed churches in order to exalt and placate their Nu God torn from the flesh of the Ol' Ones whose reign (about 100,000 years ago around the time man emerged from the jungle) on earth disgusted them so thoroughly that they banished their minions and bound them from ever entering the gates of salt again.

The Nu God torn from the flesh of the Ol' Ones is not to be fucked with. He's more of an old testament god than he seems through Jesus.

The nu God is the mack, he always got your back, he'll cap a nigga in the spine just for lookin at you wrong way, he always got the benjamins, he got every mother fuckin firearm known to mankind back at his crib, he also traffics in every drug you can think of, and he's always flossin his magnanimous whip that be pumpin' mad wattage out the trunk on a pair of 16s.

This, without even considering the merch it'll generate: t-shirts, hoodies, snaeakers, mugs, ball caps, bedding ensembles

With all this fishy confederate civil warfare bullshit intoxicating the memepool, and all these makeshift militias being culled under the spell of Nazarene tyranny. The grim priests think of your biblical texts as though tools for brainwashing using the words in your holy book with its picture perfect anti-hero to play the martyr. So selfless and giving and merciful. The grand Master, the apotheosis, the white rabbit. They're looking for a few "Real Christians(tm)"

"HIS majesty's glory so suddenly revealed"

From underground bomb shelter daylight morning parades. Civil vigilance from paranoid inheritance. Thank the forty-two phonies for freeing the minds of desperate backwoods rednecks with assault rifles everywhere. The country is proud to have you protecting yourself from the men in green and the little green men, and our arch-enemy f.e.m.a.

King Herod sure seemed convinced of trouble from the start.

What do the Ted Kaczinski's of the world think of this consumer nightmare, all these shopping mall gestapo working serial mom's? Why didn't those fuckin CIA patsies crash two planes into Nordstrom's and Fortunoff? Where's the Anthrax in the Christmas swine? Or C-4 candles for Khanukkah?

Numbers don't always push the odds in our favor. This may be why they say the will of one has more chance of effectiveness becuase of the problem of unity of desire between group minds. This is very simple. Have an intention and carry through. Laugh afterwards heartily. Cry if melatonin levels are shallow.

No one's saying pipe bombs are cool.

But they're far more reliable than chaobolts. Any sufficiently advanced military power is indistinguishable from both the 'wrath of god' and the 'fury of nature'. Don't forget to unlock your trigger safety before putting the pistol under your pillow at night. If a fat guy in a red suit comes down your chimney, sneak up behind him and tie him up in the basment with a ball-gag in his mouth naked and call all your friends over for the most jolly gang anal-rape since last month's turkey basting.

Defacing churches is bonus points for this season.

Robbing liquor stores or better yet breaking into liquor stores and destroying as much alchohol as possible is a slam against the new years Dale Ernhardt school of driving. Alcohol ain't shit but old-old-school roofies and acts as an abrasive multi purpose cleanser. If those grunts in Europe during the black plague would've been bathing in their mead instead of funneling two barrels at a time every other day they might have survived infection. It doesn't seem like xmas will just go away as much as any of us might want it to.

So instead this should always, always be a time when magickians should be brewing wealth centered workings as a direct response to consumer inflation. People _will_ buy at this time! And, dare I say, people will buy anything if you package it properly. Kids thrive on pure gimmick (eventho they see thru the mundane censor feild of their parental machines). People will always buy more food at this time.

Where's all the culinary chef magick when marketing is at hand?

All this blathering sometimes mistakes itself for net-working. I think I just passed that lane of traffic by driving on the shoulder, though. There's probably a huge ditch up ahead but at least I'm still moving, while so many metal coffins bake and rot at a perfect standstill. I'll navigate a ditch over stasis any chance I get. A flowering bud is what is meant by perfect disorder. PM23 gets the most 'spect this week for remaining a vital messenger of synchronicity at the mercy of the power that doesn't be. And with a small addendum I smoke to Z Speakin to all you cats in the lands of THC Re-invent the midwintersummer Tree

 

Stay real, zee. Don't change a thing for him, her, or me.,  

E.N. Aren'tch          

 

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