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Hello, all of you dispossessed dipshits, dorito-swilling douchebags, and disdainful dickfaced dumbfucks! I am less than pleased to welcome you, end-users and substance abusers alike, to the plaything of the Great Alarm. The average cadaver's idea of what can be done with a website is impotently limited. Why not make your slice of the Internets an engine of manifestation?


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the Psychedelic Health Institute of Greater E.R.O.S.

Division of Pharmacology and Ethnobotany


From: Dr. A. R. Inch

  To: Greater Psychedelic Health Institute of Satanica
  West Bank Business District
  P.O. Box 666, E.R.O.S. 97537

Dear G.P.H.I.S. staff,

I wish to express a great deal of concern in regard to a former patient of yours named Alex Mason who is currently admitted to my facility. Since his transfer here over three weeks ago Alex's demeanor towards my staff and the other patients has quickly grown intolerable. He refuses to share a room with anyone else. He haggles with other patients over their medication. He spends all his recreational time in the computer lab and has configured one of those computers to restrict everyone else in the facility, but himself access to it. Technicians have been unable to fix this problem. His actions also include, but are not limited to:

  • indiscriminately relieving himself in the hallways
  • using a plastic bag inside a tube sock to masturbate in the dinning hall
  • ndecent fraternizing with staff, visitors, and other patients
  • smuggling in and distributing marijuana to other patients
  • pray painting the walls in his room with little or no ventilation
  • generally corrupting the responsibilities and directives of staff members and other patients

I am writing to you to request information on some aspects of Alex's treatment history. He commented briefly on some of your methods for stabilizing him and I am anxious to hear your remarks on the following techniques allegedly used by your staff:

  • daily conjugal visits paid for by the institute?
  • midnight field trips concurrent with the lunar cycle?
  • administering 5-MeO-DMT/MDMA combinations for headaches?
  • pig's blood with all meals?
  • the sacrifice of 13 Hot Vessel Cadaver Wannabes every evening from Samhain till Charliemass?

Please contact me as soon as possible regarding this matter.

Sincerely yours,

      Dr. Ayin R. Inch


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